Twitter is a very mean and unkind place. I am continually amazed at the severity of this. This is not the first of its kind and unfortunately, not the last.
A twitter user and blogger shared her story of gang rape, immediately, hell broke lose on twitter. You would think this is the time when human beings unite and show their humanity, instead, aggressiveness was all that was displayed.
I understood from all i have read today that the victim is an outspoken blogger in Nigeria, she has being known to be involved in multiple arguments on twitter but the way the public reacted, i was ashamed to be a part of this planet. Regardless of who this girl is and what other previous things she has said, whether you have ever agreed with her or not, the way some WOMEN reacted was pure vile.
Look, rape is rape. Let us be civil for once and not sugar coat it. Even if this lady's story turns out to be untrue (I doubt that though), this is the reality of so many girls in Nigeria. Too many women in Nigeria have lived this lady's story. Best believe this is not the first time something like this has been raised. The moment anyone involved in any sexual activity says No, whatever sexual activity that occurs afterwards is RAPE. Be it a friend, a boyfriend, a husband, without consent, any sexual activity that occurs is rape. We have being conditioned by a culture that we created to always question the victim in situations like this. Stop it!
This story has shown me that people are more comfortable with the story of a young girl hungry for marriage than the story of a rape victim. Too many people are saying "if she did not want it, why did she keep going back?". I understand that not everyone has talked to the people i have talked to and heard stories from victims of rape and domestic violence, from all the victims whom have had the courage to speak it, one thing is common. FEAR! It is the fear that keeps them going back, it is the fear that makes them stay. It is not something as easy as, "well, i do not like this shirt, i will not wear it again". Most of the victims tend to be people whom have being taken advantage of by people whom claimed to love them. Usually, it is the love and the fear that keeps the victims. Our society is one of constant shaming hence, the silence.
I am very disappointed and sad today. Instead of showing compassion or restraint from commenting, one woman went on to say "she is too ugly to be raped", i swear i dropped my phone. I was shocked. There were comments along the line of:
"if she is wishing rape on herself, may it happen to her",
"she must have liked it if she stayed with him",
"she must have been into the drugs they were doing",
"why was she hanging out with men older than her",
"this is just attention seeking"
The list goes on. I do not like to get into discussions on twitter because i noticed how petty and silly twitter can turn even the brightest people but i could not keep in my disappointment. If this lady's story is true (which i know it is else the man involved would not have had to respond with threats of releasing her nude pictures), imagine all the trauma she had had to endure, imagine living in her shoes knowing there is not justice for you. Let's say the story is not true, imagine actual victims of said unfortunate circumstance reading people's reactions. Someone argues girls like to claim every sexual activity between her and an ex is rape and i say, if she did not consent to it then Yes, it is rape. You should search your conscience. Imagine them having to read people saying "she is just a whore looking for attention"
"she must have being wearing revealing clothes"
Suddenly, the victim becomes the one to blame and the aggressor becomes a victim of "seduction" and "lies". Please let us be human, imagine your sister whom has never had the courage to tell anyone about her rape, reading your cold and unkind reaction. Imagine how isolated she will feel again. Imagine how much you have invalidated her suffering, telling her it is her fault.
Sexual assault is the worst thing that could happen to anyone. It is dehumanising and violating experience. The victim will forever be scared. Having to live with all that weight, all that anger, all that pain and loneliness is terrible. The least you as someone whom did not do anything to stop can do is to be kind about it. God, twitter is horrible i swear. Very horrible. People are mean, i cannot say this enough. If you do not have anything good to say, do not say anything at all. Muhammad SAW said, before you speak, as yourself if your silence is worth more than your words.
There is already too many things we cannot do anything about like Boko Haram, ISIS, Refugee Crisis etc the one thing we can do something about is what comes out of our mouths.
I have seen growing support though, i have seen kind words, a tweet stuck with me
"And some of you are there nodding head in agreement because "desperate to marry" makes more sense to you than serial rape. Na wa for you."
Well, let that sink in. ANIMALS!
