On Mourning

I wipe the tears that come without consent
I do not bother halting their descent
Without invitation, this grief makes it’s ascent
Rises to my throat and makes itself a tent

This sorrow is of pitiful intent
Of separation and loss i am forced to lament
Only he who has lost, knows this torment
Shackled and bound, i am under arrest

There is only sadness in my heart
In death’s ugliness today i am caught
Rising and falling, i clutch at my chest
Oh this pain, i can only resent. 

Nawal El-Saadawi: The White Lion

 

Nawal El-Saadawi has died. I feel the same way i felt when i read about the death of Fatima Mernissi. Like i lost old friends. For me, these were women who validated my truth. I never knew one could be muslim and feminist because i had never met anyone like that until i found both El-Saadawi and Mernissi through books, on my journey of self discovery. Mernissi thought me about myself and El-Saadawi showed me how to not be afraid. I will leave this with an excerpt from a conversation between El-Saadawi and Kenan Malik:-

Nawal: I don’t believe in death. I have seen many people die through my medical practice so life and death are one to me. I am not afraid of death at all... because we live (and this kills creativity) we live in fear since we are born until we die. We are afraid of illusions. We are afraid of dying. We are afraid of incurable diseases (cancer or something). We are afraid of being poor. We are afraid of going to prison. Before I went to prison, I was afraid of going to prison but when I went to prison and lived it and loved it, I lost my fear. So we are afraid of the unknown...and that's creativity. Creativity means we are not afraid of the unknown. Creativity means you can go alone in the darkness and you can speak your mind. That’s creativity.

This was written on 23/03/2021 and i don't know why i didn't post it.