I Am Not My Name

What really is a name? A combination of alphabets pronounced together to form a certain sound and whenever you hear that sound, you automatically assume it is referring to you. You are nothing but words....but then everything is just alphabets right??? forming words, forming sound. But then the alphabets themselves...

Anyway, i have being asking myself this two questions for sometime now,

Who am I? Why am I here?

To understand who you really are, you have to embody the sense that you are nothing first. At the end of the day, we are all the same, just a bunch of atoms right? But then what are atoms? They are nothing, you and i are all nothing but we are something. People we are called, Humans. We are the dominant species in a giant atom which is this planet. Understand this, if you and i are nothing but atoms and the planet and everything in it are nothing but atoms as well, then doesn't that make us one with the planet, the earth, the plants, the animals all of it. we are all just one and the same. Until you have grasped the concept that you are nothing, that this cocoon that houses your soul is nothing but a collection of atoms and when stripped away, you are nothing but a soul and what really is a soul? NOTHING.

It took me a while to understand who i am, well it is a journey, i am still going through the process of finding out who i am. I answer to a name that was given to me at birth. It was supposed to honour my maternal grandmother whom also bares the same name, this same woman that i go a year without speaking to or seeing, I am supposed to be a symbol of my parents respect for her....i think. I also answer to many other names, i answer to the name my mother gave me for traditionally, she was not supposed to speak out the name of her mother, I answer to the name the boys in my high school gave me, I answer to the name i gave myself which my brother modified and uses it to refer to me. I answer to so many names that i began to realise that i am not my name. I do not really have a name when you think about it, i answer to so many names that my name does not define me. It is not who i am, it is not the driving force behind my actions. My name is a label put onto the ball of atoms that i carry around as my body. Until you have detached yourself from your body and your name, you don't really get to understand who you are.

The first time i realised who i was, i smiled. I found out that i am exactly the person i want my little sisters to be. I had become a manifestation of what i dream my kids would be like and that was one of those "YES" moments for me. I found myself fascinated by people, animals, the entire world. When you sit and you watch, you will see that we are all alike and different in a sense. Although we are all just nothing but atoms, each soul is unique in its own way. After you have found out who you are, you then realise how temporary life is, you will begin to see beauty in everything and everyone. You will begin to love harder and fiercer, you will savour moments and leave lingering kisses. You will hold on to memories as hard as you can and just smile at everyone. Belief in a higher divine deity will become so much easier and you will see a manifestation of your belief in everything.

This then leaves the question of, Why am i here?

Honestly, i still don't know. I though at a point i had a glimpse of where i am heading to, making me wonder if that is my purpose, if that is why i am embodying this body in a temporary realm but the more i think about it, the more it doesn't seem likely to be my purpose. If you reader you have found out who you are and why you are here, blessed be thy heart and if you haven't, i hope this journey that you and i are both on is filled with twists and turns, leading us to where we are going hence finding our purpose.

When your heart is pure and you are good in your heart, for the sake of being good, for the goodness of the planet and the people in it, the whole world will be for you. If you want something bad enough, the whole world will conspire to help you achieve it.