This is one article that has been on my
mind since the beginning of this year and I am glad it took this long to write.
I will explain.
I have always been conflicted when it came
to how I presented myself to the world. I always believed and still do that
what I put on my body says a lot about how I feel about myself. I cannot wear a
hijab because I do not feel like a hijab wearing girl in my heart and I cannot
walk around in a bikini because I do not feel like a walking-around-in-bikini
girl.
So as a female entering into an almost
exclusively male dominated world of technology (I am a software developer for
those that don’t know), I was conflicted when it came down to how I presented
myself to the world.
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| Image Source: http://www.cafepress.com/+big-boobs+blankets |
“Not too much lipstick, I do not want them
to think I am shallow”, “No heels, so I do not look like all I know how to do
is dress up”. I found myself equating how I looked with my intelligence. I wanted to be taken seriously as the only female engineer at my office. I
pride myself on my ability to evolve and unlearn the misogynistic ideologies
that I have been indoctrinated in. It took me a whole year to pause and realize
that I did not have to choose between looking/feeling beautiful for myself and
being intelligent/good at my job. With or without my attire, I am beautiful and
intelligent and that should be enough. I remember Chimamanda Adichie’s TED talk
where she talked about how she was conflicted about her attire on her first day
teaching. I have watched this particular TED talk at least 10 times and it
never occurred to me that I too was doing exactly what Adichie did on her first
day lecturing.
It is naturally assumed that beautiful women are not intelligent. Women in the modelling industry are assumed to be shallow and dumb, which often times reminds me of Tyra Banks and her show America's Next Top Model and whey she had a college edition. It was to break this stereotype that beautiful women are not intelligent women.
This year, America almost had it’s first
female president and amidst all of that debacle, I was noticing
how Hillary Clinton’s wardrobe was carefully chosen. Her team always chose
attires that people would consider “serious” and there was not much in the way
of accessorizing. Do you see the pedestal they put women up on? I bet none of
the other male candidates had to worry about how they looked, heck, Trump did
not even have to sensor what he said but alas, the people chose. It took me
until the end of the year to understand that I still had more unlearning to do.
Growing up, I remember I myself, looking at
other women who loved to dress up as inferior to me intellectually. Most of the
time, they were not. I was conditioned to think that due to the way society
judged women. Today I have little sisters who are growing up to be very
confident, smart and daring women. One of them told me how she would be a kick-ass
humanitarian lawyer and look “as bom as Amal Clooney” while doing it and you
know what, that is just fantastic. Smart and stylish women run the company I
work at, I am learning that intelligence quotient and beauty/style are not
mutually exclusive. Women do not have to choose between looking good/feeling
confident (I believe these go hand in hand) and having a high intelligence
quotient. I know very beautiful women who deliberately dumb themselves down so as to seem more appealing to men.
We must begin to unlearn this the moment we awaken to the realization
that we are living by misogynistic ideals.
