3am Thoughts

It is 3:34am...I cannot sleep.

It is true what they say, 3 am is the darkest hour of the night. People tend to find 3 am a time of extreme fatigue, that is the time when for those who are asleep, their sleep is the deepest and for those who are awake, their juice is lowest(meaning they are exhausted). Some people believe at 3am people tend to get very honest and emotional, a study by a group of scientists proved that by adding that because people are exhausted from the previous days activities and they haven't gotten around to sleeping to re-boost, so their brains become less active and it is easier for the brain/heart to be honest than to make stuff up. Anyway, whatever it is, here i am at 3am, bursting with feels. This post will be a roller coaster of thoughts.

There is a lot of things that need to be addressed but nobody is addressing, this is the job of writers. We must learn to discuss the undiscussed.

I am coming to understand recently that all you need in this life is yourself, yes you need other people but basically, you have to be there for you. Always. We must learn to put the physical,mental and spiritual health of ourselves first.
There are so many quotes on the internet telling us how to act in our relationships, what to do and what not to do. Some of us follow these quotes literally, like they are not written by some lonely twenty-something year old girl/boy/alien at 3 am in a dark room. What we need to understand is, nobody can tell you how to be you, nobody can teach you how to love or be loved. A quote on the internet says, "you don't call him, you have to wait for him to call you". I call that bull-shit. If you want to talk to him, pick up the damn phone and give him a call. What is the worst thing that could happen? God forbid he gets happy you called. It is serious that some of us end up desperately googling things like "how to make him/her like you", what happened to being you? being simply and unapologetically you? they may like you or hate you when they know the real you but at the end of the day, you were honest with them and yourself and believe me, you deserve the honesty.

So much annoyance on the internet really.

Do not waste your time wondering if someone cares about you or not. Listen to me, take this from me, if someone truly gives a crap about you, you would know. They would make an effort to let you know, to show you. Words are just words, a mad man can spew words. People who go out of their way to do simple nice things for you, those are your people, those are the people you need to give a crap about. If he tells you repeatedly that he cares about you but doesn't do anything to show you, not even the littlest of things, probably because he doesn't. Don't waste time and energy worrying and wondering if someone cares. If they care, they will show you, you just have to pay attention. Also, we are quick to assume things. We are quick to create these images in our heads about how things are which are probably wrong 100% of the time but we believe them and we stress about them. If you are like me and you are someone who does that, please stop. Life is too short to stress about imaginary things.

Some people just don't want to be loved. Don't waste your time on those people. Take your love some place it would be appreciated. There are 7 billion people in this world and everyone needs love. Throw your love some place else. Do not do the mistake of repeatedly knocking on a wall. It is not a door, it will not open for you. If someone is not smart enough to want to be loved, you cannot do anything for them. They need to help themselves.

We all need to pay more attention to the people in our lives. Some people just want to be heard, want to be seen. Be there, be present. Do not mistake her silence for stupidity, do not mistake her smile for ignorance, do not mistake her kindness for weakness. She is probably doing all that because she cares, not because she doesn't have anything to say, but because she is afraid of saying the wrong things, waiting for you to be honest with her, her silence is not because she doesn't know you are an asshole, she knows, she's probably waiting and hoping you would soon realise how much of an asshole you are. Be there, she wants to be heard. Listen to her, pay attention to the people in your life. A simple "are you happy?" message can make someones' entire day. Be present.

I have no idea where this post is going so it is best i stop here. It is 3:57am.