Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Apology


This is not a sad poem and it is not an apology. I am not apologizing. I have said more excuse me’s starting with I’m sorrys and more sentences starting with I’m sorrys so I am done beginning my sentences with programmed I’m sorrys.  I am done being the girl who, apologizes for wearing her skirt a lil too long, I am done being the girl who apologizes for wearing her her jeans too lose. My body is not a connection of regrets; blood flows through my veins and not apologies so I am quitting. I will not apologize for being human, I will not apologize for having an opinion and I will not apologize for being black. I have heard that the smartest thing a girl can be in this world is a fool, a beautiful young fool but I will not be that fool. I will not be the girl who breaths regrets and swallows her words, I will not be the girl who chews her voice and washes down her opinion and self respect with a glass of exotic male. No! I refuse to become an apologetic fool. My thick black woman lips will not voice out precisely arranged alphabets forming words of apology. A woman should not be an apology. Bosom filled with love and affection I will not apologize for my gender. I will carry this body with grace and confidence and stand tall among men. I will speak out and daze them with my eloquence. You have stepped on me one too many times and spat down my feet. My fists are balls of years of implied I am not sorrys ready to smash skulls but I have spent too many years of I am sorrys that I spread my fists flat and let old apologies fall to the ground. I am not broken. I am a woman. I am not an apology.

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